Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
