4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
