I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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