About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
