So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
