I can tuck mytits in my pants
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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