just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
