I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
