Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
