yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
