I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
