I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize