Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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