I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
