i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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