so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
