My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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