her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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