Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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