hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
