Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
