I bet he comes in French.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
