there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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