The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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