a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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