Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
