So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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