I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize