So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I look better un-naked...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
