Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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