i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
