Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
