ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
