its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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