you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
