So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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