Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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