You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
