what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize