I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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