i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize