ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
