Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
