Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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