The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
