She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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