we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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