I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize