Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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