Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
