So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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