Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
