My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
