I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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