Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Actions speak louder than pants.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
