Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
