We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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