i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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