I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
