i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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