i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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