she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Randomize
