If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
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