its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
