The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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