Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm at about main and main street
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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