You're so nebulous sometimes
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
