there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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