We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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