SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
vagina is talking i cant
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
